


De magia memorias

by Mr_Motley



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:09:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29065614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_Motley/pseuds/Mr_Motley
Summary: A 28 year old Ethan Rayne loses his memories, but not his magic. He's saved by Buffy, and brought to meet the rest of the gang.(It's been so long since I've seen the show I'm sure it doesn't line up timeline-wise, also I definitely took some liberties on their magic system...)
Relationships: Rupert Giles/Ethan Rayne
Comments: 3
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

He ran through the cemetery, legs burning, heart pounding. Vampires; a large group of them. He let out a strangled sound as he blasted another beam of sunlight from his hands, scalding one across the face. He had to keep moving. He tripped, turning to watch the group closing in on him. He had taken most of them out, he could do this. He tried to steady his breath as he cast the next spell; fast, powerful, but not enough. He cried out as the fangs punctured his neck, desperately lighting his hands again and aiming over his shoulder. There were too many.

"Hey." A girl called, drawing their attention. She wasn't much younger than him, small frame, but quick and agile. He slumped to the ground, holding the wound on his neck with one hand, and lighting the other in sunlight. The light flickered and wavered, but it didn't matter. The girl moved through the vampires effortlessly, staking one after the other, and standing in front of him in no time.  
"Just hold on, I'll get you to the hospital." She promised.

"No, no hospitals, I just-I can heal, I need some herbs." He explained, pained and weak.

"Ok, ok. I know someone who can help, ok?" She asks, helping him up, and holding his weight as she lead them.  
"My names Buffy."

"Charmed." He almost laughed.

\----------------

Buffy lead him into the house; he heard some commotion, but couldn't focus until an array of herbs and crystals were in front of him. He took what he needed, grinding the herbs in his hand and holding it over his wound. He sobbed a little at the burn, but breathes through it in ragged, uneven breathes.

"Who are you?" Buffy asks, once he catches his breath. He shakes his head.

"It's the strangest thing, I, I can't quite remember." He tries to explain, but his words are weak. It's quiet for a moment, and he looks up in a daze. He's sitting on the floor of a living room, a group of people all standing around him. 

"I'm calling Giles." One girl frowns, before walking away.

"I can do a spell, it'll help me remember." He offers, but the group shares an uneasy look.  
"Or I can leave. You've already saved my life. I shouldn't ask for more." He sighs, but makes no move to stand. The spell would restore his blood, and seal the skin, but he was drained physically and magically. 

"You can stay here for now. But no magic until we can figure things out, ok?" Buffy asks uneasily.

"Just to get this straight, you remember how to do all that, but you don't know your own name." A man half asks. The girl beside him frowns. 

"Well we know he's British." She points out.  
He sighs. It didn't make much sense to him either, but he knew what spell to use to restore his memories, so he knew he wouldn't be confused much longer.

"Giles is on his way." 

"Good. Ok. So you don't know who you are. But now you know me," Buffy starts,  
"And this is Willow, Anya, Xander, and Dawn." Buffy says, pointing to each in turn.

"You want some orange juice?" Willow offers, receiving a few strange looks from the group.  
"What? I always crave orange juice when I'm magic-ed out." She shrugs.

"That would be wonderful, thank you." He nods, trying to give her a small smile.

As they wait for their friend to show up, they're all seated in the living room, talking casually about movies, and food, and anything that comes easily. He's lost through most of the conversation, but laughs when they all try to convince his that he must have heard of the movies they're referencing.  
The door opens, and an older man walks into the room. The two make eye contact and the world seems to stop. He knew this man. He knew him so completely he was sure they were in love. He felt tears prick at his eyes, as he clawed through his mind searching for the memories he could almost feel.

"Ethan?" The man asks quietly, so caught off guard.

"That sounds right." He manages to reply, although his mouth is dry, and he his breath is a little strained.

"Ethan, as in Ethan Rayne?" Willow asks. He hardly notices the tensely changing atmosphere, so focused on this man. 

"What are you playing at, Ethan?" The man asks, demeanor growing guarded, eyes growing dark. Ethan choked out a laugh as the tears stung at his eyes. Yes, yes, he loved this man, but clearly it was unrequited. He shook his head, a little dizzy.

"I'm sorry, I can't quite remember. I just need to do a spell, jog my memory and I'll be on my way." He tries, although his voice is uneven, and he needs to rip his gaze away from the man so darkly watching him.

"No. Get out." The man instructs. Ethan goes to stand, but Willow places a hand on his arm.

"No, it's ok, Giles. He doesn't remember anything." She defends him, but Ethan just wants to leave, escape.

"I wouldn't be too sure." Giles challenged.

"You could always try the tractus veritas" Ethan offers. It's quiet and tense for a moment.

"Tractor what?" Xander asks.

"Tractus Veritas, pulling truth." Willow explains, but is just as confused.

"You would submit to that?" Giles asks.

"For you? I think I might." Ethan lets out a pained smile.

"There's a right and wrong way to do magic, Ethan. Tractus Veritas is dark magic. But perhaps Aequalis Veritas instead." Giles explains, considering. Ethan manages to meet Giles eyes again.

"Whatever you prefer." Ethan holds his left hand up.

"The rest of you, if you could give us the room." Giles asks, rolling up his sleeves slowly.

\---------

Giles and Ethan knelt on the floor, the herbs laid out between them, a ribbon held between their left hands. They recited the spell together as their right hands bound the ribbon tighter.

"Do you know your name?" Giles asks stoically.

"I didn't before you told me." Ethan replies.

"Do you remember me?" Giles asks, not waiting a moment.

"No, but I want to. I know you mean a great deal to me." Ethan answers. Giles seems to flinch at that, but moves on to his next question none the less.

"Tell me what you do remember." 

"Running through the graveyard, vampires. Nothing before that I'm afraid." Ethan explains. Giles watches him closely for a minute.

"Where were you born?" Giles tries.

"I don't know."

"What is your mother's name?"

"I-I don't know." Ethan could feel some panic at this; he felt so strangely vulnerable.  
"Do you know my mother's name?" Ethan couldn't help but ask.

"Yes." Giles answered simply.  
"What town are we in now?" 

"I don't know." Ethan replied again.

"We're in Sunnydale." Giles tells him, a frown forming subtly across his features.  
"Do you want to bring harm to this town, to me, or the others here?" Giles asks seriously.

"No. Before I saw you, I didn't know what I wanted."

"So what do you want now?" 

"To remember why you make me feel like this." Ethan says quietly. It's silent, for a moment, as Giles considers him.

"How old are you?" Giles asks, moving on easily.

"Twenty-eight." Ethan replies, unsure of how he knows it.

"What year were you born?" Giles asks, brow furrowing.

"I don't know." Ethan frowns. It should be simple math, if he knows how old he is, but he can't seem to remember what the current year even is.

"End the spell with me." Giles instructs, and Ethan nods. They recite the ending incantation, untying the ribbon from their hands. With the spell ended, the two sit there for a moment longer.

"Were we close?" Ethan asks, now that he can without a forced answer. Giles takes his time before answering.

"A long time ago, yes." Giles finally replies, before getting to his feet.

"So, will you help me remember?" Ethan feels awkward, bare, almost. 

"I will help you, but not with your memories." Giles sighs.  
"You can stay with us, join our fight, if you'd like. But only if you do not seek out your memories." Giles stops to clean his glasses, so casual and distant.  
"I will train you in the right way to practice magic, and you will not stray into the darker magics. Those are my conditions." Giles explains, before turning his gaze back to Ethan. Ethan considers this, nodding slowly. He wanted, even needed to remember; but this horribly conflicted wave of emotions he had between himself and the man before him would take priority, easily.

"Do I call you Giles, as they do?" Ethan asked after a moment. He knew this man, but the name didn't sit right. Giles hesitates.

"You can call me Rupert, if you like." Giles allows, although he seems to regret it.

"Rupert. That does sound a bit better." Ethan smiles softly. Giles doesn't meet his eye, instead turning to the next room over. Ethan sits back on the couch, breathing deeply for a minute, and allowing Rupert and the others a chance to debrief.


	2. Chapter 2

"He can stay here, we have plenty of room." Buffy offers.

"I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that. Ethan may not have his memories, but he has his magic, which can be just as dangerous. Until he's earned our trust, I think it best he stays with me." Giles explained with a sigh.

"Not to be that guy, but isn't Ethan Rayne's whole evil plan always to mess with Giles' head? Shouldn't we avoid keeping him at your house?" Xander asks.

"Well he's not staying with us." Anya interjected.

"I appreciate the concern, Xander, but it does seem our best option." Giles frowned, looking past the others to where Ethan waited.

\---------

"At... at your house?" Ethan asks nervously.

"Yes." Giles frowns.

"Just... just us? There alone?" 

"Well Spike lives in his bathroom." Anya added helpfully.

"Spike?" Ethan frowned.

"He's a vampire, but he's completely harmless." Willow assures him.

"This isn't exactly the most comfortable arrangement, but until you've proven yourself, I'd like to keep you close." Giles explained tensely.

"Close. Right." Ethan took an uneven breath, trying to shake his nerves. 

"But if you need to talk to someone I wrote down our phone number, so you can always call here." Willow smiled, handing him a slip of paper. Ethan took it gratefully, giving her a small smile.

"Right, thank you."

"He can get a little grouchy, but it's only because he's protective." Willow explains, and Ethan feels the words ring through him; something he must have told himself about Rupert many times before.

"We'll meet at your place tomorrow, ok?" Buffy tells Giles, who nods back at her.

\----------

"So you said we were close a long time ago," Ethan starts, as Giles drives.  
"But I'm guessing I never met the others?" He asks nervously.

"You have, but you looked very different." Giles replies shortly.

"Are you ever going to answer in a way that doesn't give me more questions?" Ethan almost teased. Giles lets out a soft chuckle, but still seems just as tense.

"This is quite difficult for me, Ethan. We have such history; mostly bad, mind you, but some good. Some of it..." Giles sighed.  
"You've lost your memories for now. All the good, and the bad. And quite frankly I'm still trying to understand how to approach that." He huffs. Ethan watches him softly for a moment, as Giles parked in the driveway.

"Maybe we should start over then." Ethan offers with a smile. Giles meets his eyes, a bit of surprise showing through.  
"I'm Ethan." He offers his hand, a teasing smile on his lips. Giles softens a bit, before shaking his hand.

"Hello, Ethan, my name's Rupert."

\----------

Giles leads the way into the house, huffing angrily as he walks into the kitchen.

"Would it be too much trouble to clean up after yourself?!" Giles yelled towards the living room. A hand raises from the couch, middle finger extended.  
"I swear," Giles seethed quietly, before tidying up the kitchen counter. Ethan couldn't help the odd smile crossing his face at the interaction, moving to sit at the counter across from Rupert.

"Sounds like you've adopted a teenager." He teased.

"If only. A teenager would eventually move out!" Giles huffed.

"Oi, I'll move out as soon as I can! This place isn't exactly up to my usual... hello." Spike frowned, stopping mid-sentence as he walked over.

"You must be Spike." Ethan almost smirked at him.

"And you are?" Spike asked, looking over Ethan's punk-styled cloths curiously.

"Ethan." 

"Ethan will be staying with us for a while." Giles explained off-handedly, still scrubbing pig's blood out of his good mug.

"You don't look like a council-type. Don't smell like anything inhuman. But someone with that accent in Sunnydale must have a hand in some trouble, especially if you're here." Spike considers.

"Ethan is an old friend, Spike, that's all." Giles huffed.

"Can't be that old." Spike shrugs.  
"Where're you from?" 

"Uhm," Ethan starts hesitantly.

"For god's sake, Spike." Giles sighed, drying his hands and leveling Spike with an exasperated glare.

"Hey. Just curious. No need to get jealous, although he does seem a bit young for you." Spike smirked. Giles pinched the bridge of his nose, and Ethan could feel his own blush burning on his cheeks.

"Spike, just go back to the television." Giles sighs, and Spike raises his hands innocently, before walking back to the couch.  
"Come on Ethan. I'll show you the guest room."

\-------------

Giles sighs, walking back into the kitchen and pouring himself a drink. It's quiet for a moment, as he takes a few swigs and tries to clear his mind.

"Rough day?" Spike asks, topping off Giles' glass and helping himself to one. Giles glares as Spike takes a swig.

"I don't exactly plan to tell you about it." Giles huffs.  
A few drinks later and the two were sprawled out in the living room, Giles explaining everything.  
"He was my first love." He muses.

"First loves... you never quite let go of them, do you?" Spike replies softly.

"If you're talking about Drusilla, Spike," Giles sighs.

"No, before her. Believe it or not there was someone when I was human. Of course she was quite terrible, really. Crueler than any vampire." Spike explained.

"Ethan was never cruel. But I was. I think in many ways we just brought out the worst in each other." Giles hauls himself off the couch, unsteadily grabbing the bottle to pour them each another drink.

"And now he's lost his memory." Spike adds helpfully.

"Yes. And he looks just like he did back then. I know, logically it must have been some terrible spell gone wrong; Ethan searching out immortality or something just as foolish." Giles huffs.

"But no matter how he got here, you have another chance." Spike nods along.

"A chance to save him, maybe. But clearly nothing more can happen."

"Please, Giles. I see the way he looks at you." 

\-------------

"I'm Ethan." He held his hand out, flirtatious eyes, and a teasing smile.

"Hello, Ethan. The name's Ripper." Strong, calloused hands, dark, intense eyes. 

Ethan woke with a start, the dream fading, but the feeling staying with him. His heart pounded, a mix of fear and wonder still coursing through his veins. It was something close to a memory, but the details were frustratingly out of reach. He supposed he should let it go; Rupert wouldn't want him digging into it, after all. That alone should be a warning sign, he knew. In fact it was all a bit convenient, wasn't it?  
Ethan took a shakey breath. He told himself it was all in his head, just his dreams putting him on edge. Honestly, it didn't matter if he had reason to run. Whatever was here with Rupert was important. Ethan had to know, and somehow it seemed his memories would only get in the way.

Ethan moved around the kitchen, searching around as he made himself breakfast.

"Nice PJs." Spike teased, moving around him to stick a mug in the microwave. Ethan huffed, looking down at the pajamas Giles had lent him. He took a deep breath before preforming a series of hand motions. He let a wave of light wash over him, leaving him with black painted nails, eye liner, styled hair, and his usual punk attire.  
"Oh, a magic user. Surprised Giles allows such frivolous use of it, wound as tight as he is." Spike observes.

"We haven't really had a chance to go over house rules yet." Ethan shrugs, a frown tugging at his lips.

"You're up early." Giles groans as he makes his way down the stairs. Ethan frowns at the clock.

"It's after ten." He points out.

"He had a few drinks last night." Spike chuckles.

"And you didn't share, Rupert?" Ethan teases. 

"Oh he shared plenty with me." Spike smiles behind his mug.

"And we will never speak of it." Giles replies groggily. The tea kettle whistles, and Giles moves to pull out two cups, and a box of various teas.  
"Still prefer the raspberry?" Giles asks distractedly. Ethan almost laughs.

"I'm not sure." He admits. Giles nods, setting up Ethan's cup next to his.

"Well it always was your favorite." He shrugs.

"I suppose you'll have to teach me all my favorite things again." Ethan smiles at him flirtatiously, nearly preening at Giles blush.

"Well this is just tooth-rottingly sweet." Spike points out.

"When are the others coming by?" Ethan asks, taking his tea gratefully.

"Around noon. In the meantime, I have some books on ethical magic I'd like you to start on." Giles explains.

"Ethical magic?" Spike almost laughed.  
"Off to a great start, mate."

"Spike, for God's sake." Giles sighed.

\------------

Ethan sat cross-legged on the couch when the others finally arrived, book open on his lap. The first one wasn't half bad, although quite pompous.

"Hey, how are you settling in?" Willow asks, plopping on the couch next to him.

"Oh, fine so far. Rupert gave me some books this morning." Ethan shrugs, gesturing to the stack on the table.

"Ooh, Ethics of Astral Reconnaissance! Giles would never let me read this one!" She gaped, before rifling through the rest with just as much glee.

"I gotta say, Giles, it gives me the willies hearing him call you by your first name." Buffy huffs.

"Yes, well I much prefer it to what he called me before he lost his memories." Giles sighed.

"What was it? Hunny-buns? Rupy-bear?" Spike teased.

"Ew, Spike, gross." Buffy replies with a scrunched face.

"Yes, Spike, please drop it." Giles said with a tired glare.

"Well I think it's sweet; the punk and the pencil-pusher." Spike smirked.

"Buffy." Giles said, pushing past his annoyance.  
"Would you mind taking Spike on patrol with you tonight while Ethan and I meditate?"

"Do I have to?" Buffy pouted.

"I don't need a sitter, mate. If you two need the night to 'meditate', I certainly don't want to be here." Spike huffs. Giles pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Just be back by sunrise." He sighs, before he and Buffy make their way back to the living room.

"-a whole shelf of options, we don't have to watch the ones I picked." Willow explains.

"Willow's invited me to a movie night." Ethan explains as Giles approaches.

"Willow." Buffy sighed.

"A word?" Giles asks, gesturing Willow to the other room. 

"I'll be right back." Willow smiles at Ethan genuinely, before following Giles.

\------------

"Willow, this is Ethan Rayne, he doesn't need movie nights, and he doesn't need a friend." Giles explained. Willow just rolled her eyes.

"Everyone needs a friend, Giles. The whole point in you teaching him is to try to bring him to our side, right? And our side isn't just about fighting the good fight, it's also about all of us, about having fun, and eating together, and going to the bronze Friday nights! And yes, Ethan is invited to the Bronze tomorrow. No arguments!" Willow explains seriously.

"For God's sake, Willow he's a fourth-five year old man." Giles huffs.

"Yeah, but he doesn't know that! You can't just keep him cooped up here, Giles. Besides, I really think we could be good friends." Willow shrugs.

"Yes, that's part of the problem." Giles sighs, thinking it through for a minute.  
"Very well, I trust your judgment. However I will be training him tonight while Buffy's on patrol, so you must have him back here by then." He frowns

"Thank you Giles!" Willow beams, before nearly skipping back to the living room.


	3. Chapter 3

"So," Willow starts as she and Ethan walk back to the Summer's house.   
"How are you doing with everything?" She asks almost nervously. Ethan leaned his head back with a dramatic sigh.

"Well, it's all quite strange, but Rupert is intriguing." He shrugs.

"Well that's good. No trouble from Spike?" Willow asks.

"Oh, he's fine. And he does seem to lighten up the place." Ethan chuckles.

"Not what I was expecting, but that's good!" Willow laughs.

"How's everyone else taking this?" Ethan asks, almost worried.

"Oh. Well. They're... concerned. But you and Giles use to be friends. So we're all hoping for the best." She shrugs. It's quiet for a moment as the two continue the walk.

"Were he and I just friends?" Ethan finally asks. Willow looks at him in surprise, and Ethan can't help the flinch of guilt.

"I don't know." Willow replies, softly, but still shocked.  
"I don't really know much at all, except that you two knew each other a long time ago, and you use to mess with all the bad magics." 

"So now he gets the chance to fix that in me, I suppose." Ethan muses, a slight frown showing through.

"Do you... Do you have feelings for Giles?" 

"Overwhelmingly, yes." Ethan admits easily.

"I had a girlfriend. She left, not long ago." Willow explains softly.

"I'm sorry. But thank you for telling me. You never really know how someone is going to react to such things, do you?" 

"Well no, but there are more good people than bad. And it's worth giving people that chance."

\----------

"So what are we dealing with here, Giles?" Buffy asks with a sigh.

"Well it's a bit too early to know for sure. Unfortunately Ethan has always been particularly unpredictable; and I hate to admit it, but I seem to have quite the blind spot for him." Giles replies, cleaning his glasses distractedly. 

"That's one way to put it." Spike adds. Buffy rolls her eyes, leveling him with a glare.

"Not helping, Spike." She huffs.

"I don't know what's so hard to understand here. Powerful magic user, long lost love; seems pretty obvious to me." He shrugs.

"Clearly, you have no idea what you're talking about." Buffy says with a frown.

"I do hope I'll never have to say this again, but Spike has a point." Giles hesitantly adds.

"What?" Buffy asks.

"Ethan has repeatedly tried to get under my skin over the years. It wouldn't surprise me if this was all some escalation of that. However, I don't believe Ethan would ever leave himself so vulnerable." He muses.

"Well he has all his magic." Buffy shrugs.

"Not the vulnerability I was referring to, I'm afraid." Giles frowned, thinking it through.

"But he can get his memories back whenever he wants, right?" She asks. 

"If we hadn't found him that night, he'd have retrieved them already. I'll believe the motive there, but the execution; I don't believe things are going as Ethan had planned." Giles explains.

\-----------

"Love are first sight?" Willow asks, her and Ethan talking comfortably on the couch.

"I suppose; although who knows how I fell for him the first time around." Ethan almost smiled shyly.

"Do you... Do you think he felt the same? The first time around?" Willow asks. Ethan's gaze wandered off, a hurt look flashing across his features.

"I have no idea how he feels. There's been moments, where I've wondered. But just the same, there are moments when he'll look at me so darkly. It can be almost frightening." Ethan admits.

"You shouldn't be scared of Giles!" Willow objects.  
"He wouldn't hurt a-well, ok, there have been a few times. But only with real baddies. And maybe you were that baddie once or twice, but he wouldn't hurt you now!" Willow attempts. It's quiet for a moment, before Ethan sighs.

"I suppose only time will tell. He does seem to be trying, in his own way." Ethan hesitates before continuing.  
"I wanted to thank you." Ethan tells her. 

"For what?" Willow asks, genuinely confused.

"You've been consistently kind to me. And from what I understand, you have very little reason for that." He shrugs. Willow chuckles almost sadly.

"Well, it's not exactly selfless. Honestly it's just nice to have another magically-inclined friend around." She explains.

"A comment like that and I'd expect us to be doing more spells." He teases. 

"Oh Giles would kill me." Willow replies with a laugh.  
"Figuratively!" She clarifies quickly.

"Of course." Ethan chuckles. 

\------------

"How'd you two enjoy the movie?" Buffy asks as she enters the house. Ethan laughs, and Willow glances at the screen guiltily.

"Afraid we didn't get very far." Ethan explains.

"Really." Buffy frowns.

"We just got caught up talking." Willow shrugs.

"Ok. Well I'll be upstairs if you need me." Buffy replies uneasily.

"How's Giles?" Dawn asks as Buffy comes up the stairs.

"Worried, like the rest of us. Everything go ok here? Have you eaten?" Buffy checks, leading the way to her room.

"We had pizza. Turns out Ethan doesn't like anchovies." Dawn explains.

"Who got anchovies?" Buffy asks, nose crinkling.

"I did." Dawn replies proudly.  
"I thought it would be funny if he liked them." She explains with a grin.

"Hilarious. So everything seemed... alright? With Ethan?" Buffy asks nervously. Dawn just rolled her eyes.

"Yes, he's fine. But it's a little gross how he's still in love with Giles even though he's not old anymore." Dawn says off handedly.

"Dawn; I've heard enough of that from Spike, I definitely don't need to hear it from you." Buffy scolded.

"Sorry, just saying. So how is Giles?" Dawn asks again.

"He's fine?" Buffy replies.

"But I mean do you think he likes Ethan back?" She asks excitedly.

"Dawn, where is this coming from?"

"It's all they've been talking about." Dawn rolls her eyes.  
"I kept going back to eavesdrop because I thought they'd be talking about magic or something cool, but no." She huffs. Buffy stares at her for a minute as she processes.

"Ok, no. I really can't think about this." She sighs.

\-----------

"Why not think about it like this," Spike starts with an exasperated sigh.  
"Ethan would have his memory back if he didn't run into you, yes? So would he be able to predict that?"

"No, I don't think so; I surprised even myself on that one." Giles huffs.

"How would this have gone differently if you were acting in a more predictable manner then?" Spike tries, swirling his mug of pig's blood absently.

"Well." Giles huffs.  
"I should have just kicked him out, then undoubtedly he would retrieve his memories on his own, and hopefully feel foolish for it all." He explains.

"So this doesn't sound very intentional to me." Spike summed up.

"No, I suppose it doesn't."

"But just for fun," Spike starts,  
"let's say he could have seen this coming. What then?" Spike asks curiously. Giles thinks it through for a while.

"Well I suppose he'd use it to get close; try to tempt me back into darker magics." Giles frowned.

"Would that work?" 

"No. And Ethan should know that. He is at least smarter than that I hope." 

"Which means either you've done something he'd never expect, or..." Spike leads, watching Giles reaction carefully. 

"Or what?" Giles finally asks, a little annoyed.

"Take it from someone who's done an awful lot of bad; the idea of forgetting and being shown a better path could be tempting." Spike sums up, before downing the rest of his mug. Giles sighed, glancing to the window. The sun had set, and Ethan would be back soon.  
"Just be back by sunrise." Giles nearly threatens as Spike gets ready to leave.

"Fine, fine." Spike huffs on his way out the door. 

\-----------

"We'll see you tomorrow right?" Willow asks, as Ethan gets ready to head back to Giles'.

"Yes, thank you again, Willow." Ethan smiles, as he and Willow hug briefly.

"Ok, you all ready?" Buffy asks. Ethan gestures forward, and Buffy leads the way.

"I'm glad you and Willow are getting along." Buffy tells him half way through their walk.

"So am I. This whole experience would be infinitely more difficult without a friend." Ethan muses. Buffy sighs, laying a hand lightly on Ethan's arm. The two stop, and Ethan gives her a quizzical glance.

"Look. I know you don't have your memories, but someday you will. And when you do, I want you to look back to this moment, and really remember what I'm about to tell you." Buffy says seriously.   
"In the past we've let you get away, but this time, if you hurt Giles and try to run, I will find you, drag you back, and throw you to the hungriest wolves Sunnydale has to offer." She threatens. 

"I have no intention of hurting Rupert, but I will be sure to remind myself of this if my memories return." He replies uneasily.

"Good. Now, with that out of the way, I actually think you might fit in just fine." Buffy smiled at him, squeezing his arm comfortingly.


	4. Chapter 4

"Keep the energy ring spinning, slowly." Giles instructs. He and Ethan sat facing each other on the floor, room lit by candles and the ring of magic between them.   
"Feel the way the magic flows through me, and align yourself to it." Ethan's eyes were closed as he breathes through the magic.   
"I'm going to shift the energy into another shape now; limit your resistance, and follow my lead." Giles lifts his hands slightly, shaping the spinning energy like clay on a pottery wheel, Ethan's hands moving in sync.  
"Good. Without opening your eyes, tell me what it looks like." 

"A rose." Ethan smiles confidently, and the rose flickers as Giles' is briefly caught by the sight. He takes a shaking breath as he closes the spell, the room darkening down to candle light alone.

"Good. I think that should be enough for tonight." Giles says softly. He and Ethan had shared their magic so completely in the past, the familiar ringing of Ethan's light a warm and wonderful ache. He hadn't forgotten how it felt, but now, sharing it without the fear and adrenaline of darker magic, without the danger that had always been one step away; Giles couldn't focus. Not enough. He couldn't help but think back to Spike's conclusions. Could Ethan really be here to start over? To do things the right way, finally? 

"Rupert," Ethan almost asks, watching Giles with soft and curious eyes. The candle light flickered across their faces, and Giles tried to stifle the surge of memories he and Ethan had shared in these familiar conditions.

"You should get some sleep. I hear you'll be going out with the others tomorrow." Giles gives a small smile, and Ethan returns it.

"You could always join us." Ethan says, near mischievously. 

"I'm afraid I'm a bit too old for all that, Ethan." Giles chuckles.

"Still, I'm sure you know how to dance." Ethan replies. Giles has to look away as he's filled with memories decades old; trying to will himself not to picture how Ethan use to sway and move to their music. Giles takes an uneven breath, wetting his lips nervously.

"Oh I was never the one dancing." Giles finally replies. When he dares to meet Ethan's gaze again, it's stunning. 

"Well maybe that's one thing I can teach you." Ethan tells him, a tilt of the head and a half lifted smirk. It's playful, and challenging; a combination that would have lead the old Ripper anywhere. 

"Ethan," Giles starts, a soft and pained warning. 

"Rupert?" Ethan asks, just as gently. For a moment Rupert can imagine giving in. Kissing Ethan, showing him through gentle touches that he's a better man than Ripper ever was. For a second, Giles lets himself imagine being here with the Ethan he knows, the one with all his memories, and every scar and wrinkle to match. For a second, Giles lets himself want it.

"It's late." Giles says instead, getting to his feet slowly. He turns on the lamp, and walks around to blow out each candle.

"Alright." Ethan sighs.  
"Goodnight then, Rupert."

\----------

"I don't dance, love." Ripper growled from behind him, as Ethan leans back into him.

"I do." Ethan teased, moving lightly to the music, pressing back against Ripper's chest. He lifted his hand behind him, fingers drifting over the piercings on Ripper's ear, the stubble on Ripper's jawline. 

"Ethan," Ripper whispers in his ear; a warning clear in his voice.

Ethan stared at the ceiling the next morning, the pieces of his dream melting slowly. The magic Rupert was focusing on last night was basic; but Ethan went along easily. There was something so perfectly familiar about the feel of Rupert's magic, the way their light danced together. He sighed, before getting himself ready and heading out into the kitchen.   
He made himself some quick breakfast and tea, glancing at the stairs every so often.

"Stop with the moon-eyes, he went out." Spike groans from the other room.

"For how long?" Ethan asks with a frown.

"I'm not his secretary, mate." He huffed. Ethan sighed, but ate quietly regardless.

"You mind heating up some pigs blood while you're in there?" Spike calls after a while. Ethan finishes his meal, before bringing it to the sink.

"Why do you drink pig's blood anyways?" Ethan asks.

"Not really any of your business." Spike huffs, walking over to grab his mug himself.

"Is it about the mug? Or the pig?" Ethan asks again, starting his dishes.

"Do you actually care?" Spike huffs, pulling the bag of pig's blood out the fridge.

"I'm curious. Besides, if it's about the mug, I might be willing to bleed in it a bit if you want." Ethan offers, and Spike freezes, staring at Ethan in shock.

"You'd let me drink your blood?" Spike asks.

"Not straight from me." Ethan replies, crinkling his nose.  
"And you'd have to promise not to tell anyone. I can't imagine Rupert would be too pleased." He frowns.

"So why, then?" Spike asks cautiously.

"Bribery, I suppose." Ethan cast Spike a mischievous look.

"I can live with that. What exactly are you bribing me for?" Spike asks.

"This time's free." Ethan bargains, before walking over to Giles supplies, and grabbing the herbs he'd need to heal after. He walks back to the kitchen, using a knife and bleeding steady into the mug for a few seconds. Bleeding wasn't a big deal for Ethan. It was probably from all that 'bad magic' everyone kept telling him he use to practice. Either way, he was able to fill up almost half the mug before he had to heal himself, and restore his blood. Spike took the mug greedily, holding it close and breathing it in like a cold child with a mug of hot cocoa.

"Sweet jesus, it has been a long time," Spike nearly moaned into the mug. Ethan watched him curiously for a moment.

"So how'd you end up here, anyways?" Ethan asks.

"Damn government put a chip in my head." Spike huffs.

"A chip." Ethan frowns.   
"That might be the strangest thing I've heard yet." He muses.

"Yes well, join the club." Spike rolled his eyes.  
"But I help out with information and stay here in return." He explains.

"What kind of information?" Ethan asks as the two move to the couch.

"Whatever I hear. Been keeping an ear out for anything that might explain you, as of late." Spike shrugs.

"I see." Ethan frowned. It's quiet for a moment as Ethan thinks things through, and Spike enjoys his blood.  
"Are you coming to the bronze tonight?" Ethan asks after a minute. Spike laughs.

"I'm not usually invited to the social gatherings." Spike huffs.

"Oh. I guess I can see why they'd feel that way. No soul and all that." Ethan frowns.

"Yes, and a wildly different taste in music." Spike laughs.  
"Speaking of, have you had the chance to look through the records here?" Spike asks, gesturing to the record player.   
"It's where Giles hides all his good taste." Spike teases. Ethan bites his lip for a moment before his curiosity won out. He kneels in front of the cabinet, looking through them. Some of the names felt familiar, but he couldn't place any of it. After a moment, he picks one, and sets it up. The music starts playing through, and Ethan smiles warmly.

"See what I mean?" Spike laughs, and Ethan laughs too. It was strange and familiar. And he almost felt like he could sing along, if the lyrics in his head weren't just out of reach.

\---------

"Giles?" Willow asks as she answers the door.

"Willow, good. I was hoping to speak with you." Giles replies as he follows Willow inside.

"What's up?" She asks, flopping back into the couch. Giles sits, considering his words for a moment.

"I'd like you to train with Ethan and I, if you're up for it." Giles starts hesitantly.

"Train? Magic? With you? Really?" Willow almost squeaks excitedly.

"Yes, I'm afraid training him alone may have been a mistake." Giles sighs. Willow frowns, thinking it over.

"Why's that?" Willow finally asks.

"I just think with you there, we may be able to better focus." Giles explains cautiously. Willow watches him for a minute.

"Giles, were you and Ethan... together?" She asks in a gentle tone. Giles seems to flinch a bit.

"It was a long time ago, Willow." 

"So you were. And he's still in love with you." It's not quite a question, but Giles nods anyways.

"If we're going to see this through, attempt to teach him to 'fight the good fight' as you put it, then the less chance of distraction the better." 

"Do you... do you still have feelings for him?" Willow can't help but ask. It's quiet for a minute, and Giles won't meet her eye.  
"It's ok if you do." She adds.

"Ethan is extremely dangerous, Willow." Giles says instead.

"That's not a no." She says softly.

"Ultimately, Willow, whatever feelings I may have for Ethan Rayne are unimportant. I've given up hope on him a long time ago." He sighs.

"But now, I mean if he's one of us?" She prods, and Giles huffs a little.

"It is far too early to let myself wonder, Willow." It's quiet for a moment, before Giles lets himself continue.  
"Maybe some day, if he joins us, and doesn't stray. Once he has his memories back, and his body. Once he's proven that he won't..." Giles trails off, eyes off through the distance.

"You're worried that he'll hurt you." Willow tries, to which Giles lets out a sad sort of laugh.

"Quite the opposite, I'm afraid." Giles takes a breath, trying to regain his composure.  
"Which is why I want you to train with him. I can instruct, and you and he will perform the spells." He explains.

"If you really think it's for the best." Willow agrees easily.  
"And just so it's been said, I really like Ethan. And I'll be very happy for both of you when you work things out." She smiles at him, and Giles can't help but smile a little back.

"Thank you, Willow. That does mean a great deal to me."


	5. Chapter 5

"I do hope you'll keep our conversation between us." Giles says with a frown as he drives himself and Willow back to his house.

"Oh, sure; I mean I'll try. But Ethan and I do talk about you, so, I mean I won't overstep or anything!" Willow tries.

"What exactly do you and Ethan say about me?" Giles asks curiously. Willow frowns.

"Well, he's clearly still in love with you." Willow tells him. Giles sighs.

"You do understand why nothing can come of it, don't you?" Giles asks almost quietly.

"I'm starting to." Willow replies softly.

\-------------

"Cause I'm voodoo child! Lord knows, I'm a voodoo child!" Spike sings along happily from the couch, as Ethan laughs and sways across the room.  
Giles freezes in the doorway, jaw hanging a bit in his confusion. 

"I see you two are staying entertained." Giles finally manages to say, tearing his eyes away from Ethan as Willow follows him through the door. 

"Rupert." Ethan says, shocked and blushing slightly. Giles can't help the small smile tugging at his lips.

"Relax, Giles. We're just having a spot of fun." Spike says lethargically, almost annoyed that his singing had been overheard.

"Yes, I can see that." Giles teased.

"Hey Ethan." Willow waves a little.

"Willow, I'd think it would still be a bit early to be going out." Ethan says.

"Willow will be training with us for now." Giles explains. Willow mouths 'sorry' to Ethan.

"Well I won't be going anywhere while the sun's out, so should be quite the show." Spike smirks.

"We'll start out with simple spells, it will take Willow some time to participate in the kind of illusions we were practicing last night." Giles continues, ignoring Spike completely.

\----------

"Sorry to intrude like that." Willow frowns as she and Ethan walk from Giles' house.

"Well if Rupert prefers it," Ethan sighs.

"You just gotta be patient with him." She shrugs. 

"I don't really have any other choice, do I?" Ethan asks half-heartedly.

"No good ones at least, but we're not so bad, right?" Willow teases, bumping her shoulder against Ethan's side.

"Aren't you cold?" Ethan frowns, looking over Willow's choice of outfits. Willow laughs.

"A little. I wasn't really expecting to go over to Giles' today. Probably could have thought ahead better."

"Well, then let me be a gentleman." Ethan grins mischievously, before doing a few hand motions, and conjuring a jacket.

"You have got to teach me that." Willow gaped.

"Rupert might not approve." Ethan chuckles.

"I'm sure we'll find a loophole." Willow grins.

Much of the walk is quiet, although Willow seems to be getting more distracted and on edge the longer they walk.  
"Are you alright?" Ethan asks with a frown.

"Yeah." Willow says unconvincingly.  
"It's probably nothing, but it just kind of feels like someone's watching us, you know?" She shrugs into the jacket a little.

"Been feeling it long?" Ethan asks, lifting his senses in hopes of picking up on whatever it was.

"Since we left Giles'." She explains.  
"It's probably nothing." She says again. Ethan doesn't press it, but keeps on alert the whole way there. 

Willow leads Ethan through the crowd and to the group's usual table.

"What are you wearing?" Xander grins as soon as he sees Willow.

"Ethan's jacket; I forgot mine." She replies almost nervously.

"I wondered; didn't figure you for all the pointy bits." Buffy teases.

"Hey yeah, how'd you even get a wardrobe like this anyways?" Xander asks Ethan.

"Oh, a magician never tells." Ethan grins back.

"Fair enough." Xander huffs in amusement.  
The group talks about everything and nothing for a few hours; whatever social anxiety Ethan had been feeling melting easily. 

\---------------

"Smart to bring Willow in. No chance of an accidental romantic evening." Spike coaxes.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about." Giles huffs.

"Come now, Giles, it's just us. And you've opened up so much already, might as well let me help." Spike smirks.

"I don't need your help; nor does anyone else for that matter." Giles huffs.

"Please, you lot are all hopeless. It's a wonder you've gotten this far without me." He grins.

"Spike, for god's sake, can't you go out tonight? I could use some peace and quiet for once." Giles replies, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Alright," Spike sighs.   
"I suppose I could do some reconnaissance; keep my ear to the ground as they say." He shrugs, before pulling his jacket on and adjusting the collar.  
"But I will say this; Ethan's a ripe catch, mate. If you have real feelings, you should act on them, before anyone else gets any ideas." Spike watches the few moments of caused chaos with gleaming eyes; Rupert had crossed the room and slammed Spike to the wall in seconds.

"Don't ever. Threaten him." Giles tells him darkly.

"I didn't mean me, mate." Spike grins.  
"Of course I wouldn't say no, if he tried for it." Spike knew the hit was coming. He laughed around the pain in his lip as Giles swore, shaking out a hand before going to pour a drink.  
"I'll keep you in the loop if I hear anything." Spike grins, and makes his way outside.

\-----------

"And Aliens." Xander added. Ethan glanced over to Willow. She looked uneasy.

"Same feeling?" Ethan asks, nudging her shoulder gently.

"What feeling?" Buffy asks seriously. Willow frowns, before leaning towards the table. 

"Like someone's watching us. I didn't think much of it, but it hasn't let up." Willow explains quietly. 

"We could take a look." Ethan offers.  
"I know a few spells that might be useful; though we'll still need a vantage point." 

"Uhm," Buffy said, looking up at the catwalk above them.

"Oh, perfect." Ethan frowns. Willow grabs Ethan's hand, leading the way.   
The catwalk was a bit crowded tonight, but the two found a place to look over the railing.

"Can I help?" Willow asks.

"You-" Ethan starts, before a quick glimpse of someone over Willow's shoulder catches his eye.

"Ethan?" Willow asks. Ethan takes her hand again, trying to follow where the man must have gone. He caught another glimpse over the railing, before rushing down the stairs. 

"He went outside." Ethan says, still following.

"Go, I'll get the others." Willow tells him. Ethan walked briskly through the crowd outside, and down the street.   
He was being pulled into an alleyway before he knew it, and shoved against the wall. He light his hands with sunlight on instinct, holding them between him and his attacker. He waited; breath unsteady. The man in front of him laughed, walking forward until Ethan's lit hands pressed against the man's chest. 

"Ethan," the man almost scolded playfully.

"Who are you?" Ethan asked fearfully, the man's dark eyes boring through him.

"You really still don't remember." The man laughs.  
"I'd love to stay and chat, pet, but you've still got a long way home." 

"What-" Ethan started. He saw the portal coming before it opened, but he wasn't moving fast enough.


	6. Chapter 6

"But none of you saw him." Giles asks, looking between them.

"No; Ethan how did you see him so fast?" Willow asks. Ethan hadn't done a spell.

"He-he looked really familiar. I followed him down the street. He was surprised that I didn't remember him, or, more accurately, that I still didn't remember him." Ethan explains nervously.

"Someone who knows you've lost your memories, who's surprised you haven't gotten them back." Giles mused.

"Powerful magic; he used a portal to escape." Ethan added.

"He must have seen us on the street, followed us to the bronze." Willow frowns.

"Or he's been following Ethan for much longer." Giles adds, cleaning his glasses with a sigh. 

"Can you described him?" Buffy asks.

"About my height and age, dark hair, earrings, intense eyes." Ethan huffs.  
"And he shared our accent." 

"Tattoos?" Giles asks.

"Not that I saw, but he was wearing long sleeves." Ethan shrugs.

"Well, on the bright side, we know what we're looking for now." Xander adds hopefully.

"Yes, because powerful magic users are easy to find." Anya replies sarcastically.

"At any rate, I believe we should pick this up in the morning." Giles says, dark and distracted.

"I'll head out on patrol, and let you know if I see anything magic-y." Buffy tells them.

\-----------------

"That was quite the entrance, mate." Spike grins, leaning against the wall as the man portals in.

"I'm actually surprised." The man laughs.  
"How exactly did you find me?" He asks, stalking towards Spike confidently.

"Please. You're holed up in an old warehouse; I've learned by now how to keep tabs on these places." Spike huffs, arms still crossed.

"And yet you've decided to stay and chat." 

"Had to see for myself. Of course, the slayer and the rest won't be too far behind." Spike taunts.

"Ah, the slayer." The man laughs.  
"I'm rather excited to see what she can do."

"Oh I'm sure she'll make it a good show." Spike grins devilishly.

"Trust me, I won't miss it." The man smirks. "Send my love to Ethan, would you?" He says, opening the portal behind him.

"If you love Ethan, you'll have to get in line." Spike coaxes.

"Yes, the girl. Don't worry, I have quite the surprise waiting for her too." The man teased before slipping through the light, vanishing in a moment. Spike tensed, all but sprinting out the building, and towards the Summer's house.

\-------------

"Well you guys could always stay." Willow offers as they approach the house.

"Thanks Willow, but unless were actually about to die I'd rather sleep in my own bed." Anya says quickly.

"Watch out!" Xander yells out, reaching forward to pull Willow back towards him and Anya. The demon roared, barreling out the front door so fast the door broke off its hinges.

"Run!" Spike yelled as he lept out to tackle the demon. 

\----------------

"You're going out?" Ethan asks worriedly, as Giles gets his coat on.

"I'd like to look into this more." Giles replies distractedly.

"Well you aren't leaving me here." Ethan objects.

"Here is the safest place to be, Ethan." Giles frowns.

"And you're trying to leave, so I'm coming with." Ethan argues. 

"Ethan," Giles sighs.

"Rupert you'll need back up." Ethan says firmly. 

"I can protect myself." Giles huffs darkly. Ethan grabs his arm as Giles turns back to the door.

"Can you really?" Ethan replies with just as much heat.

"Stop it Ethan!" Giles huffs, pulling his arm back harshly.

"No! Whoever is out there is powerful and smart, Rupert; you need me!" Ethan yells, and Giles pushes him back.

"I need you safe." Giles almost growls out. Ethan grits his teeth, magic lighting fiercely around him.

"Then protect me yourself. I'm not letting you go after him alone." Ethan bites back, and Giles presses into his space angrily.

"You don't want to do this Ethan." 

\--------------

Spike fought the demon viciously as Anya and Xander tried to put some space between them. Spike struggles for a while while Willow starts lifting rocks with her magic, using them as projectiles at the demon. Finally Spike manages to get a grip on the demon, breaking its neck with a loud crack. It's quiet as they all catch their breath, Willow dropping the rest of the rocks she had floating.

"What was that?" Xander huffed.

"An attempt on Willow's life." Spike explains.  
"Stay sharp, I'd be surprised if this was all he sent."

"Why would anyone want to kill Willow?" Anya asks, looking between Willow and Spike.

"He thinks Willow and Ethan are together." Spike huffs.

"What? Uhm, hello, gay!" Willow objects.

"Uh, guys?" Anya asks, gesturing to the other demon stalking towards them.

"So back to Giles?" Xander asks nervously.

\-------------

"Any spooky magic here?" Buffy asks the vacant graveyard with a sigh.  
"No? Right, of course not, because that would be too easy." She huffs. 

\-------------

"Giles?" Willow asks, after the group had been knocking at the door for a minute. 

"Maybe he went out." Anya suggests.

"Maybe he got a lead?" Xander asks.

"Bloody hell." Spike swears, pushing the door open and pacing inside.  
"You lot stay here; barricaded the doors if you have to." He huffs.

"Wait, your leaving?" Anya asks in disbelief.

"Someone's got to get the slayer at the very least." Spike explains in frustration.

"Well someone has to protect Willow, and somehow I don't think we're going to cut it when more demons show up." Xander argues.

"So I'm suppose to stay and babysit then?" Spike rages

"Yes!" Anya yells.

\-----------

When the explosion of light went off in the graveyard, Giles and Ethan had started running. Buffy was already in the thick of it, fighting each demon as they piled through the portal.

"Ethan leave!" Giles yelled as he rushed out to Buffy's side.

"Giles what are you doing here?" Buffy huffed out in exhaustion.

"Getting you out of here, there are too many." Giles bites out, eyes wide and wild as he scans the cemetery.

"Rupert the portal!" Ethan yells.

"Go, I've got this." Buffy instructs, and Giles follows Ethan hesitantly. Beams of light to push demons back, just enough space for the two to rush through. The crackling of the portal was near deafening, the light a strong contrast from the pitch black of the night around them.

"I can't close it on my own! Take my hand!" Ethan yells. Giles holds on, lifting his free hand towards the portal.  
Time seemed to slow as Ethan and Rupert's light reverberated together. It was an intoxicating power, an overwhelming light even more powerful then the two had ever done in their youth. No breath, no sound, nothing but their light, their power, Ethan's hand in his own. Giles pulled Ethan in, holding him close as the power swept out from them, obliterating the demonic energy in its path. He held Ethan close as their breath returned, eyes shut tight, and the graveyard silent. There was a gentle pull, the two separating only enough to really see each other. Neither one said a word, but they didn't need to. They had won. Giles glances at Ethan's lips; Ethan's presence the most natural force. He was leaning in, the two kissing softly, sweetly, passionately, hungrily. Rupert pulls Ethan's hip close roughly, needing everything. Ethan, his Ethan, finally.

"Giles gross." Buffy whined. Giles jumped back suddenly, watching Ethan mirroring his own surprise.

"Are you alright Buffy?" Giles asks, turning back towards her.

"I'm good; what the hell was that?" She huffs.

"Demonic portal. That kind of magic doesn't just happen." Ethan explained, still catching his breath. 

"Yes, whoever Ethan's stalker is, he's more powerful than the magic users we've faced before." Giles explains, eyes scanning the graveyard sharply.

"More powerful than.. you guys?" Buffy asks almost nervously. Ethan frowns at Giles, who hesitates to answer.

"Power is a complicated thing, Buffy." Ethan answers instead.

"Right; well we should regroup, let everyone know what happened." She sighs.

\----------

"Giles!" Willow yells as the three enter Giles' house.

"What are you all doing here?" He asks with a frown.

"Someone's sending demons after Willow." Anya explains.

"Seems our mystery magician is the jealous type." Spike adds, watching Giles carefully.

"We just came from the cemetery; he opened some kind of demonic portal there." Buffy tells them.

"Yes, we managed to close it, but I'm afraid we didn't find anything useful." Giles sighs.

"I want to know who Ethan thinks it is." Spike asks confidently.

"What? I don't, I don't know." Ethan argued, caught off guard.

"You said he looked familiar." Spike continued easily.

"I don't remember." Ethan argued defensively.

"You don't have to; you know who he is, don't you? You saw it in him the same as I smelled it on him." Spike tells them, staring Ethan down.

"What are you talking about, Spike?" Giles asks, eyes furious.

"I came across him in the old warehouse down past 5th. Had a brief chat." Spike starts.  
"Clearly he has feelings for our Ethan, so let's all put our minds to it; powerful magic user, feelings for Ethan, about his age and height, with the same accent. Sound like anyone?" Spike coaxes.

"You can't mean..." Willow almost asks, watching Giles with wide eyes.

"What? What am I missing?" Xander asks.

"It's you, Giles." Spike tells him, confident and certain.


	7. Chapter 7

"That's impossible." Ethan argues.

"And so are you, but here we are." Spike counters.

"You think it's some kind of time travel?" Willow asks.

"No, that's magically impossible." Ethan argues again, starting to panic.

"Yes well Ethan's never believed in sticking strictly to what's possible." Giles sighs. 

"So you think he's working with the real Ethan Rayne?" Buffy continues.

"The real...?" Ethan asks, almost a bit dizzy.

"Could be, although I haven't seen any sign of him having a partner." Spike shrugs.

"Did he give anything else away? Spike tell me exactly what he said." Giles says firmly.

"He said he was excited to see what the slayer could do. And that he sent a surprise for 'the girl'." Spike replies, gesturing to Willow.  
"Doesn't exactly give anything away so much as take credit for what we already know." He shrugged.

"To see what Buffy can do? He wanted to watch?" Giles asks almost fearfully.

"Sounds like it." Spike shrugged.

"Giles if he's jealous enough to send demons after Willow just for wearing Ethan's jacket," Buffy starts.

"I know, Buffy." Giles sighs.

"Are we missing something?" Willow asks.

"No, nothing important." Giles replies, causing Ethan to flinch a little.

"Were you two kissing in the graveyard?" Spike asks, putting the pieces together easily. Giles sighed.

"Spike, please, let's focus on the problem at hand." Giles huffs.

"I don't get it, if it's a younger you, shouldn't you know what he's planning?" Anya asks.

"I don't, I don't know." Giles sighs.  
"When I was that age I was still very unpredictable." He huffs.

"Unlike now, Giles." Spike tells him seriously.  
"So just like our talk before, then. How much could he have predicted?" Spike asks.

"He wouldn't be predicting; he'd be inciting chaos." Giles explains.  
"Every horrible thing he'll do is born out of curiosity and boredom. If the real Ethan is with him, Ethan will just be an accessory, a power source. Ripper will be driving their actions." Giles explains, hands starting to shake.  
Ethan watched them for a moment, but he couldn't do it any longer. He had stayed to see it through this far, but it was too much. It was all....

"Ethan!" Willow yelled as Ethan took off out the door.

"I got him." Spike huffed, pushing past them.

"Oi, where you headed?" Spike called out, running to catch up with Ethan down the block.

"Out. I don't belong here." Ethan replied, not slowing his pace.

"So you and Giles get it on in the graveyard and you're ready to move on then? Doesn't sound like love to me, mate." Spike challenges, falling in step beside him.

"Clearly I was wrong. I have no idea what any of this means. And he doesn't love me. Or the "real" me, either, does he?" Ethan half asks, hurt clear.

"Hey." Spike huffs.  
"We've got a big problem we're trying to solve, not exactly the time to be delicate about all our feelings, right?" Spike asks.

"Just let me go, Spike. What does he care? What do you care?" He huffs. Spike grabs his arm, the two stopping.

"Believe it or not, I like having you around. And not just for your blood." Spike huffs.  
"And Giles might be a good sized thorn in my side, but he's told me enough to know he cares." 

"Doesn't sound like it to me. He said his younger clone would be using the real me for my power; isn't that what Rupert's been doing with me? He says he use to be unpredictable, he use to be dangerous. But he still is. He didn't love me then; how could I think he would love me now?" Ethan asked venomously.

"Do you want me to tell you what he said that first night, then? When he and I had a few too many drinks?" Spike asks seriously.  
"He said you were his first love; and that when you and he were together, he was cruel. He said he felt like he had another chance to save you. I get the feeling he's been trying to prove to you that he's a better man than he use to be. I don't know what will happen, kid. With you, or Giles, or his copy, but anyone with a pair of eyes can see it. The two of you are in love, and it's a messy and terrifying thing." Spike explains as openly as he can.

\-----------

"He just needs time; can you imagine how much this must be for him?" Giles sighed.

"From the sound of it, I don't think we have time." Xander replied.

"No, Giles is right." Buffy sighs.  
"We'll take the night to rest, and regroup tomorrow." 

"Oh, that reminds me," Xander almost cringes.  
"I'm going to have to fix your door."

"Looks like we might stay the night after all." Anya tells Willow, lack of enthusiasm obvious. They all turn as the door opens, and Ethan follows Spike in.

"Welcome back." Willow tells him genuinely.

"We were just saying we should pick this up in the morning." Xander explains.

"That seems wise. I'll see you all tomorrow, then." Ethan tries to smile a little at them, but he's too worn down.

"I'll walk you lot out," Spike says, following the group out the door.  
"Don't worry, Giles, I'll be sure to be back by sunrise."   
Giles sighs, watching the door close behind them.

"I'm sorry, Ethan. I can't imagine what you're going through." Giles frowns, looking Ethan over in concern. Ethan watched Giles closely as he walks closer. 

"You kissed me, Rupert." Ethan tells him bravely.

"I did; it wasn't the right thing to do." Giles says sadly.

"You don't regret it entirely, do you?" Ethan says, more than asks, moving closer in. Giles hesitates.

"I don't know where this will lead, Ethan."

"I'm not asking you to predict this, Rupert." Ethan watches Giles expression closely, before tentatively reaching out, running his fingers over Rupert's neck, and jaw line gently.  
"Kiss me again." Ethan tells him. Giles looks Ethan over almost sadly, before brushing his thumb over Ethan's lips. Their kiss is soft, sad somehow. 

"Rupert," Ethan sighs as he pulls back a little.  
"It's time. I'm taking my memories back." Ethan says definitely. Giles looks conflicted for a minute, before nodding reluctantly.   
The two turned sharply as a light cut through the room, and a young Ripper stepped out from a fresh portal.

"I believe that's my cue." He smirked. Giles held Ethan back protectively.

"What are you doing here?" Giles seethed.

"Ethan, darling, it's time to finish what we've started." Ripper explained with a smirk, taking bold steps towards them.

"Stop." Ethan told him with a shaking voice, holding up a hand lit with magic.

"You may not remember, but you should still know better than that." Ripper smirked.

"He's not going with you." Giles told him darkly.

"I don't believe I was asking permission, old man. And quite honestly I don't think either one of you could stop me." He hasn't stopped his steady walk towards them; his hands in his pockets, ultimately carefree.

"Stay back Ethan." Giles instructs, preparing himself for a fight. 

"This won't take long." Ripper huffs.

\--------------

The spells Ripper used were far too advanced; dark magic that Rupert had never learned to begin with.

"You awake, old man?" Ripper asked teasingly. Giles twisted his arms under the ropes that bound him to the chair.

"Where's Ethan." Giles manages to croak out, throat dry and vision still focusing.

"I told him to wait in the other room; don't worry, he won't remember you." Ripper explains, pulling up a chair to sit opposite his older self.

"So you've been taking his memories." Giles states.

"Taking his memories, keeping him young; don't act like you're above it. It's exactly how you want him, too." Ripper smirked at him, and Giles felt the venom in his veins boiling over.

"I want him safe." Giles bit back.

"He can protect himself. He still has his magic, of course. And my god, his power. He's come so far since you were my age." 

"He's been teaching you?" Giles asks as the pierces start to fit together.

"You could say that." Ripper was watching him closely, curiously.

"And where exactly did you come from?" Giles asks, eager for answers, and trying to bide his time.

"You know Ethan; shouldn't it be obvious?"

"I don't claim to know how Ethan thinks." Giles almost growls out, twisting his wrists against the bindings again.

"He loves us, always has. You do know that at least." It isn't a question, and Giles doesn't answer. It's quiet for a minute, before Ripper speaks again.  
"You know why he made me, deep down, don't you?" 

"To be with you." Giles explains with a huff.

"He didn't want me, old man." Ripper frowns.  
"He wanted you to kill me." 

"Why on earth would he want that?" Giles huffs, finally watching Ripper.

"To snap you out of whatever tweed day dream you've locked yourself up in. To wake me up in you." Ripper explains with a grin.  
"His mistake was thinking I'd care what he wants; that I'd care to fight you. No, you're only here so I can finally get what I want."

"What could you possibly want." Giles huffs.

"I'm not real yet, old man. Just a collection of light and magic; mimicking flesh and blood. But with the right sacrifice, even Ethan can't undo me. Maybe then I'll let him remember. But then again, isn't he just so cute all confused, and far too trusting?" Ripper teases, a malicious glint in his eye.  
"Don't pretend that you're above it. You kept him without his memories same as I did."

"We are not the same." Giles grits out.

"Of course not. I'd never raise a hand against him. Never leave him, never join the council. You're a coward, and I've seen what you've done to him since you were me." Ripper huffed, and Giles couldn't find the words to defend himself.  
"He loves us, so deeply, so unconditionally that he doesn't need his memories to know it. He'd follow me anywhere without ever knowing why. You clearly don't deserve that, can't appreciate him. Don't you see that it's better this way? With you gone, it will just be me and him. He can finally let go of all you've done to him."

"What about what you've done to him? You think he'll ever forgive you for making him like this? For leaving him to fend for himself in that graveyard with no idea who he is?" Giles seethed.

"That was a mistake." Ripper frowns.  
"I won't let him run like that again." The chair scuffs against the floor as the young Ripper goes to stand, clearly getting bored of the conversation.

"You can't keep doing this to him!" Giles yells.

"Ripper?" Ethan asks weakly, stepping out from behind a door.

"Ethan," Giles nearly whispered out. Ethan looked exhausted, eyes wide and confused, but he looked himself again. Whatever spell Ripper had used to keep him young had clearly run out.  
"Ethan you have to remember," Giles pleaded.

"Ethan, darling, I told you to leave me with the sacrifice; you need your rest." Ripper told him almost softly, walking over and kissing Ethan's hand.

"Who is he?" Ethan asks, almost too quietly for Giles to hear.

"No one for you to worry about; we'll take what we need and be home before you know it." Ripper promises.

"Please, Ethan." Giles begged again.

"Rest, pet. The ritual will be over before you know it." Ripper explains softly.

"He's using you, Ethan!" Giles bites out.

"Ethan," Ripper says sweetly and confidently.  
"I love you."

"I-I know." Ethan replies, but can't help but glance over at the man tied to the chair once again.

"Go rest." Ripper says again, and Ethan nods, and slips back into the other room. Ripper waits a moment before sauntering back over to his older self.  
"You can't turn him against me." Ripper explains easily.

"You're using him." Giles accuses venomously.

"That doesn't mean I don't love him." Ripper shrugs.

"You aren't capable of it."

"And you are? What did you do these past few days that I would have done any differently? You think you're above me; above him, because that's what the council teaches."

"I'm above you because I don't use dark magics, because I don't infringe on another persons free will. Because I fight to protect the innocent from monsters like you." Giles bites out.

"Monster? Is that really how you look back at yourself? Do you think the same of Ethan? It certainly would explain a lot." Ripper frowned, looking Giles over in consideration.

"Ethan chose Chaos. He-He never chose me." Giles replied, almost too quietly. It's silent for a moment longer as Ripper watches him. As Ripper goes to speak again, there's a crash from the other room.

"Ethan?" Ripper asks in a panic as he moves quickly to the door. He flys back as a burst of magic throws the door off its hinges, and Ethan stands there in furious light; tears streaming down his face.

"I'm so sorry Ripper." He breathes out, before fighting through several hand motions aimed at the young Ripper.

"Ethan stop!" Ripper commands, but Ethan can't listen. He's sobbing as he pulls the young Ripper apart, blood and lights splattering across the room, and sizzling into nothing. Ethan falls to the ground, gasping and shaking.

"I'm so sorry Ripper." Ethan breathes out again.  
"I should have known there's no winning against you." Ethan got to his feet, dissolving Giles' bindings before opening a portal for himself.

"Ethan, wait! Please!" Giles yelled, moving after Ethan as fast as he could. Ethan stopped just short of the portal, not looking at Giles.  
"Ethan, don't go." Giles pleaded softly.  
"Please don't go." Giles reached out, placing a shaking hand on Ethan's arm.

"Haven't I embarrassed myself enough for one visit?" Ethan bites out a small laugh, flinching at the hurt of it.

"I love you Ethan. I still love you, please don't go." Giles explains gently, not holding too tight. Ethan struggles past another sob.

"I love you too, Ripper. But I'll never fight your fight. I'll never be one of your heroes." 

"I-I know. Please, Ethan, just come home with me." Giles nearly begs.

"Home. I don't think I can, Ripper. Do give the others my apologies." Ethan shrugged his arm out of Giles hold, before stepping through the portal.  
Giles held his hand up still, as the portal faded and dissolved.

"God, Ethan." He whispered out, heart aching.


End file.
